Trigger Warning: Eating Disorders
My first interview for Inclusion and Wellbeing is with the lovely, EUOC Alumni member Beth Hanson. Thanks so much to Beth for sharing, please give it a read 
Tell us about yourself and your upbringing.
I had a very very lovely childhood. My mum was just mad and doing lots of different things including lots of sports, I’m very much like her. I was a very determined child, I came vegetarian at 7 and stopped eating chocolate at the same time as I thought I was eating too much of it (I started eating it again at the age of 19….). This went along with sports, I used to swim a lot before doing orienteering and running, alongside all the others I also did. Think this kind of very determined, always wanting to strive for the best which I’ve always had may be a contributor to problems with my mental health.
How were Edinburgh Uni and EUOC when you were here?
It was the best, and the best time of my life. Everyone was just amazing, and I would say that still my best and closest friends are from Edinburgh Uni and EUOC. I miss the amazing training groups (e.g. Crip Club… I spent many many hours in the Commie and St.Leonards pool…) and awesome cafes. The course I did, Sports Science, was great. I didn’t really enjoy the first two years, but once it got more specialised and I could choose which parts I wanted to study it was fab.
In what ways did the pressures surrounding running have an impact on your mentality around food?
My eating disorder started when I was competing in swimming. I was just starting to begin puberty and really felt like everything that came with that wouldn’t help performance. I firstly upped my training, started running and doing lots of gym work, and then started eating “better”. Obviously, this led into a downwards spiral.
Running was actually what got me out of the worst parts, as well as what has unfortunately brought me back into it. I realised in order to run and train I had to eat, and that’s what got me to start understanding what healthy nutrition for athletes looks like. However, periods of injury (which has happened more often than not, unfortunately), I have previously struggled and allowed myself to slip back into the bad behaviours again. This is something that now, I’m very proud to say, does not happen anymore- having learnt the importance of nutrition in not only performance but also life.
I think running pressures can create a massive environment for increasing the risk of eating disorders. The line between optimal performance and health functions vs. being under this is very very little. It’s important to remember food and numbers are not number one in running performance.
How are you now? What are you up to in the Lakes?
Mentally, despite the craziness that is going on in the world at the moment, I am probably the best I have ever been since illness regarding food, weight and running. I moved to the Lakes in 2018 and love everything about it. I have a lovely job working in a bakery (winning), live in the middle of all the hills allowing many many adventures, and also am currently studying a Msc in Sport and Exercise Nutrition, which I am really enjoying (and not finding too stressful at all). I hope to be able to put this to use in helping others through a beneficial nutrition journey!
Do you still have daily struggles and if so, how do you overcome them?
I don’t have any struggles with food at all at the moment, no. In times of injury, I have to fight a little bit more but definitely do not give in to past behaviours. My main struggle at the moment is understanding that being a little bit heavier isn’t a bad thing. Being on the line for a little too long in my teenage years has definitely contributed to my prevalence of getting injured. My main goal at the moment is to be able to run happily, run when I want to, and continue running for a long time, so that’s something I am getting to grips to. More food is only a good thing.
I can imagine lockdown can be really hard for anyone struggling with an ED. How have you found them?
Oh definitely. I think if I wasn’t in such a good place mentally it would have been very difficult. With eating disorders, a lot is about having an element of control in your life, and with all the chaos and uncertainty at the moment, controlling food may be something some people have been using to feel safe. I am very happy to say that I have not had any difficulty… I’ve really enjoyed being able to have more time to cook proper meals rather than just the bakery leftovers, baking, and using mealtimes as a constant during lockdown.
3 short pieces of advice to anyone who may be struggling at the moment?
– Talk about it! Don’t be ashamed to say you are struggling, and voicing the pain is the first step to recovery. There will always be someone who is happy to listen, and even just that will help. You are never alone.
– Try to focus on what makes you the happiest. For me, that’s being able to spontaneously run up a fell because the sunset looks amazing, and for that it requires me to able to be running happily and healthily. Understanding why you are fighting and what you are fighting for is massively positive in recovery.
– Try to create a bit of structure and always have something planned, something that allows you to get excited for the day ahead. It’s very easy to get into a slump (and that’s totally fine too), but having something, such as a call with friends or a meal with housemates, can brighten the day massively.
Finally, in what ways do you think people should support their friends who are struggling with an ED?
That’s very difficult, and I really commend all my friends that have stuck with me through all the battles I have been through (thanks pals xox). It’s all about being compassionate and understanding, being a good listener, but then also making sure you continue trying to do the things you and your friend would enjoy doing the most together, so life feels a little normal and so they are not just stuck in their heads. Also be aware that they sometimes may not seem like their true self- and be understanding of that- some days are better than others (which is normal in life as well).